To Our Dear Sangha

Thank you for opening our second issue of this newsletter! We are grateful you are here.

A common misunderstanding among people new to Zen (or even long-time practitioners) is that they think zazen (sitting Zen) is a state to be created. They might think it is a state of doing nothing, a state of mental quiet without thoughts, or a state of not being disturbed by anything. This is why Matsumoto-san wrote “Today’s Dharma Talk” to help dispel such misunderstandings. Please read below 😃 

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(Translated by Madoka)

Knowing what is real doesn’t come from learning.

Zen Master Dogen says that zazen is not shuuzen—a practice of understanding a method and then executing it. He says it is not a method that you become able to do after learning it and then mastering it through repeated practice 

Then what is it? What is it that is not learned?

Let’s confirm right now—what is it that is actually real, but not learned.

Please put the palm of your hand on your cheek (actually do this as you read).

How is it now?

With your hand on your cheek, there is a sensation. The sensation itself is not something you learn, memorize and execute in order for it to manifest.

The way it actually is touching the cheek—the sensation itself—is the very thing that Dogen wants to convey. It is what is actually real, without self. This is the reality that the Buddha, Dogen and other Zen masters enlightened to.

This is why zazen is not a method or means. It is the way it is sitting. While sitting, if a bird chirps, “chirp” is the way it is. When facing forward, there is the actual view. The view is the way it is. Even without intending to think, thoughts and feelings arise.

This is why zazen is sitting the way seeing, hearing, thinking, and feeling are now.

Have you ever sat like this, just the way seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling, and thinking are? This is zazen, i.e. sitting as Dharma itself.

My struggle with understanding

It took me a long time to understand why Matsumoto-san and other Zen masters said satori (enlightenment) is not about understanding (i.e. not something that happens as a result of learning and deepening understanding).

I remember asking Matsumoto-san tons of questions when I first started zazen. I dissected what I thought zazen and satori were and asked him if my understanding was correct. He would, of course, tell me that all the effort to understand was not just unnecessary, it was fruitless. But I still had questions. And one day, he said, with a very puzzled expression, “you really want to understand, don’t you.”

I was stunned. Of course I wanted to understand!! I thought that the more I understood, and the more I could explain things to people, the closer I would be to that “ah ha moment” of satori! (At the time, I didn’t know that satori is not an “ah ha moment.”)

Matsumoto-san’s puzzled expression puzzled me. I understood that satori was not an intellectual understanding. But I thought deepening my understanding helped to make satori happen. How wrong I was.

My understanding did get better, but I still didn’t enlighten. Matsumoto-san tried to help me see what was real, so that my zazen would truly be zazen (and not an effort to become or discover something).  

Clap! Waving hand. He said to know the taste of coffee, I had to take a sip. Only when the taste is there is it there. The real thing itself.

At first, I thought those were symbols for “here and now,” because when Matsumoto-san clapped, the sound of the clap was there and gone in an instant. But I finally got it that they were not symbols. “Here and now” was the concept. “Clap!” –the actual clap itself—was the real thing. Each time, Matsumoto-san was showing me the real thing.

One of our interactions went something like this:

Me: blah blah blah (asking a question trying to understand what enlightenment is)
Matsumoto-san: 👏 This is it. 👏 Do you need understanding for this👋 ?
Me: … ummm… no.
Matsumoto-san: Even if you don’t understand, it’s now this, right? 👋 
Me: yes…but…
Matsumoto-san: When there is 👋 , this is the way it is…is there any other way that things are?
Me: no…

I am so grateful for Matsumoto-san’s patience. I don’t know how many times I asked him the same kinds of questions. But I finally did understand what needs to be understood—that no amount of understanding will enlighten me. If I really want to be free from the illusion of self and resolve the question of human suffering, I need to sit.

If you are struggling with understanding, my recommendation is to ask Matsumoto-san questions, especially to clarify “what is real vs. what is concept.”  Once that is clear, your zazen will be real zazen. You’ll feel no more need to learn anything. You can just sit as what is real is.  

Love and Gassho _/\_