To Our Dear Sangha

Here we are, our December issue, the last one for this year.

We are making some changes to our zazenkai schedule from January. Please see Announcements below for specifics.

To help make sure that you are actually doing zazen when you sit on your cushion (or chair), Matsumoto-san explains what you need to examine and confirm. I share an anecdote where I thought I was doing zazen but was actually doing something else. We don’t want you going into the new year doing something like I was!

We hope you all have a lovely holiday season and look forward to connecting with you again in the new year.

Announcements

Upcoming Online Zazenkai Schedule (Japan time):

From January, our evening times start an hour later, and we will try an occasional Saturday.

Zazenkai with Matsumoto-san (* indicates new day or time):
Dec 15 (Mon) 8:00am-12:00 (noon)
Dec 21 (Sun) 18:00-22:00
Jan 19 (Mon) 8:00am-12:00 (noon)
Jan 31 (*Sat) *19:00-23:00
Feb 16 (Mon) 8:00am-12:00 (noon)
Feb 28 (*Sat) *19:00-23:00

**Sat/Sun times are generally more convenient for Europe, Africa, and Asia. Monday times are generally more convenient for N/S America and Oceania.

Thursday Zazenkai with Madoka:
Every Thursday at 9:00pm-10:00pm Japan time.  Anyone is welcome!
There will be no zazenkai on December 25th and Jan 1st. Thursday zazenkai will resume January 8th.

Zazenkai reservations can be made here:  
https://www.zen-online.info/reservations

Very Useful Time Converter to calculate zazenkai in your local time
https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

(Translated by Madoka)

Have you confirmed that your zazen is really zazen?

You need to know for yourself if your sitting is actually zazen or not. To confirm this, dokusan (one-on-one with a Zen master) is necessary. The primary purpose of dokusan is to confirm that your sitting is truly zazen. Once you are certain that your zazen is truly zazen, an occasional dokusan is sufficient.

During dokusan, people sometimes talk about the state they were in while sitting. For first-time participants or people who do not understand zazen, I sometimes ask questions to confirm that they are not trying to implement some kind of method while sitting. But is a confirmation of their state while sitting necessary? One reason people talk about how it was for them while sitting is that they mistakenly believe they need to create a good zazen state. So they want to know if they’ve succeeded in doing so or not.

People are under the mistaken impression that they need to create a good state in zazen, so they become concerned about states. But when there is meow, there’s meow. Is it necessary to create a special state for meow to be meow? If you think it is necessary to create a state, you have not confirmed what is actually real. This leads to the misunderstanding that it is necessary to create a good state of zazen.

On top of that, when confirming what is real in actual fact, many people try to do so conceptually, and they don’t confirm through direct examination. Instead, they mistake their conceptual understanding of “there is only what I can see now,” for what is real in actual fact. It is important to confirm it by actually doing.

For example, put your palm on your cheek now. How is it? When the hand is placed on the cheek, a sensation arises on its own. Moving the hand to the forehead, there is that sensation.

Face forward and slowly turn your head to the left. Inevitably, the actual way it is in what you see appears on its own.  

Bring your attention to a sound happening now. There is the way the actual sound is, that which we call “the sound.” Try saying “ah.” You can confirm that it’s “ah.” 

Try saying “ah” mentally, without making a sound. Then think, “ee.” When thinking “ee,” there is no “ah” anymore. From this, you can tell for yourself that with thoughts as well, there is only the thought happening now.

The notion that thoughts continue or flow is a result of the function of memory. When thinking, “There are so many thoughts,” there is just the one thought of “There are so many thoughts.”

If you confirm what is real as actual fact like this a few times, you can confirm that it is always the way it is now. And once you have confirmed that, you can sit as what is real itself. While sitting the way what is real in actual fact is (i.e., zazen), there is no need to confirm or be aware of it.

When my zazen was not really zazen

I was one of those people who would go to dokusan and report on how I had been sitting. The first time Matsumoto-san asked me why I was reporting on how I had sat, I was really confused by the question. How could I confirm whether I was sitting correctly or not if I didn’t tell him how I was sitting?

It took me a long time to understand that not only was creating a state unnecessary for zazen, but doing so would mean I was no longer actually doing zazen. I would be fiddling with imagined states instead.

A “state” is a concept, and any explanation of a state requires a subjective summary of a period of time (that doesn’t even exist). This is important when talking to a doctor or making business plans. But to know what is real now in actual fact doesn’t require a summary of the past.

A friend once told me that someone had said sitting in zazen is like sitting the way you are when watching television. My friend thought that explanation was easy to understand, and at the time, I thought so too. So when I went to do zazen that evening, I sat on the cushion and looked at the wall in front of me like I would at a television. And I thought, “Hey, this is pretty good!” It felt like I wasn’t doing anything.

I told Matsumoto-san about this, and he paused. I’d been doing zazen for years. Then he said, “Is that necessary?”

I realize now that I had been creating a story. I had a notion of what it feels like to “not do anything,” and I was using that feeling as a standard of measurement for whether I was doing zazen well or not. In trying to create a state like watching television, I thought I was improving my zazen. But that was not zazen. It was trying to watch a wall as if it were a television. (Yes, you’re allowed to laugh.)

(*Note: Please don’t worry about being “one of those people” asking about states of mind or sitting. Most of us start out that way! If you have concerns about your state, it’s best to be honest and ask about whatever doubts or questions you have. Matsumoto-san is a master at pointing out what you may be doing unnecessarily in a way that makes it clear why it’s not needed.)

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Love and Gassho _/\_